Through Sophie's Eyes: Chapters 9 and 10

Chapter 9

            The next month went by very quickly.  Things were extremely busy at work.  Ryan and I were getting closer and it made me happy as a clam.  The only thing putting a little rift in my happy go lucky attitude was JD.  He was still acting strange.  He seemed kind of distant.  I mean we still talked fine and dandy every once in a while.  It was just something still felt off with him.

            I had to find out what brought on this unexpected distance.  I told JD to meet me on my lunch break so we could talk.  I felt like we hadn’t had our buddy time in a while.  We met at a coffee shop a few blocks from my job.  I got a table and patiently waited for him to show up. 

After a few minutes he walked in and sat down with me.

“Hey, how’s it going?”  He asked as he gave me a hug hello.  He seemed fine but I still felt like he was hiding something.

“Good, how’s it going with you?” I looked him straight in the eyes to try to pull it out of him with the look I was giving.

“Fine.” He said slowly, looking at me strangely.  I relaxed my face because I didn’t want to seem any crazier than I looked. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked flat out.  There was no need to beat around the bush.

“What do you mean?” He asked trying to play stupid.

“Oh come on.  Don’t give me that.  You’ve been acting strange all month.  I’m worried about you.  Please, talk to me.”  I pleaded with him.

“Sophie, you don’t need to worry about me.  I’ve just been stressed with work is all.  They’ve been really hammering me down lately.  I’m sorry if I came off weird or distant.  I didn’t mean to be that way and worry you.”  He stated apologetically.

That does explain a lot.  But even so something still felt off. 

“You sure that’s all that’s bothering you?”  I asked one last time.

“Yea, Soph, no worries.”  He smiled reassuringly.

I didn’t want to pry so I let it slide…..for now.

A few months later

            Ryan and I had been going strong for 4 months.  Everything seemed great.  He was one of the sweetest guys I knew, he was good to me, and we were happy together.  It was inevitable that something bad would happen.

            Everything was at an awkward stance.  Ever since my short talk with JD he was still different somehow.  He didn’t call me as much or make unexpected visits like he use to.  We rarely hung out at that point.  A part of me figured it was just work getting in the way.  I knew his job was keeping him busy and so was mine.  Even so, I still couldn’t help but think something else was wrong.

            I was at work doing what I do best, when I heard a commotion from behind me.

“Just tell her!” Lacey said in a more than audible tone.

I turned to see JD standing next to her with a sad look on his face.  He looked over at me like he was in pain.  Then Lacey walked over to me.

“Soph, you should go talk to JD.” She said eerily calm.

“Why? Is something wrong?” I asked worried.

“Please, just go.  I’ll take over from here.  Trust me.” She said.

“Ok.” I hesitated as I made my way over to JD.  The walk to him felt like it took forever.  Seeing the look on his face made me dread every step I took toward him. 

“Hi.” He greeted me sadly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Can we talk in private?” He asked.

“Sure.”  I answered as I led him to a private room in the back.  When we got there I closed the door and JD started pacing back and forth.  I stood there freaking out in my head.  It had to be really bad.  I had never seen JD like this ever.  I couldn’t take the silent pacing anymore. 

“JD, just spit it out already!”  I yelled out of impatience.

He stopped dead in his tracks, looked at me and said the words I’ve always dreaded. “Ryan is cheating on you.”  He said.

I felt like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest and stuck it in a blender just to spite me.  The air came right out of me and I couldn’t breath.

“I didn’t want to be the one to tell you but I couldn’t put it off anymore.  I saw him at the club a few times with that skank.  I told him if he didn’t tell you soon that I would…” he continued to babble but I barely heard his words.  I couldn’t think straight.

“I have to go.”  I said and quickly made my way out of that room and out of the building.

“Lace, I’m taking the rest of the day off.”  I told her as I grabbed my things and left.  I ignored everyone’s pleas as they tried to stop me.  It felt like I couldn’t get away fast enough.

I went straight home and put my sweats on.  I decided to go for a run.  I ran alright.  I ran because I was mad.  I ran because if I didn’t, I would drown my sorrows in tears and ice cream.  I didn’t want to be that girl this time.  I’ve wasted too many tears on all the others. 

As I ran I thought more and more about everything.  Maybe that’s why JD was acting so strange.  He knew Ryan was a slime ball.  How long did he know though?  He said he saw him a few times.  Then I started to get angry that JD didn’t tell me right away.  Why didn’t he?  He’s my best friend.  He should have told me as soon as he found out.  Wait, what am I talking about?  He was trying to spare my feeling. He did say he told Ryan he would tell me. 

As I thought about it everything started making perfect sense.  Ryan always worked late, had personal business calls and made weird excuses at times.  He even made the excuse he was going out with his sister.  I never met his family so he probably doesn’t even have a sister. I just thought it was all normal.   He said he was “working late” tonight.  I had to see it for myself. I had to see the truth in front of my eyes. 

For the rest of the day I ignored every phone call and every message.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything.  I didn’t want anybody’s comforting words or advice.  This guy wasn’t worth all that.  That night I had a plan.

I got ready for the night to come and quickly headed to the club where Ryan and I met.  When I got in I found a seat at the bar and started my search.  A part me had hoped it wasn’t true.  Ryan and I were doing so well and I was falling hard for him.  Another part of me knew JD wouldn’t lie to me so it had to be true.  It had to be.  The more I thought about it the more nervous it made me.  I was nervous that I was going to see something I didn’t want to see. What if I saw him with that other girl?  What was I suppose do or say to him?

For a while I looked around and didn’t see anything.  Ryan was nowhere in sight.  I was disappointed that my search might fail.  I was also relieved that I didn’t see anything because I didn’t know what I was going to do if I did see him.  Maybe he wasn’t there. 

Just as I was going to give up something familiar caught my eye. I not only knew the guy I saw but I also sort of knew the girl.  There it all was right in front of me.  Ryan was dancing with the drunken skank that JD had met a few months ago.  Not only were they grinding up on each other but they were also making out in the most disgusting way.  I felt the vomit start to rise in my throat.  I ran to the bathroom and let it all out in one quick motion.

Just the thought of me actually kissing that man after seeing that display wracked at my insides.  I had to pull myself together.  I washed my face, looked at myself in the mirror and cursed off men for the rest of my life.  How could I be so blind?  I was such an idiot. 

I knew that I had to face him.  I stormed out of the bathroom and made my way straight to Ryan.  I walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.  As soon as he turned around, before I knew what I was doing, I punched him as hard as I possibly could straight in the face.  He fell to the floor with a big thud. 

“Ass hole!” I screamed. “I hope you have fun with your skank and the crabs I’m sure you’ll be getting soon!”  I walked away with my head held high and out the door.             

Apparently, Eddie was there and saw the whole thing.  He gave me a high five when I walked past him.  It felt really good to punch that boy in the face.  I thought I would have hurt my hand but at that point I felt no pain what so ever.

When I got home I went straight to bed.  I couldn’t believe I was cheated on once again.  I must have had a sign on my forehead that said “gullible” or something.  Then like a ton of bricks it all hit me.  As much as I wanted to be strong I couldn’t help but let the tears slip from my eyes as I fell asleep.

             I woke up the next day with a massive headache.  Thank goodness it was Saturday and I didn’t have work.  I lazily drug my body out of bed to hop in the shower.  As I was getting cleaned up I thought about the events the night before.  How could I have been so blind?  I should have known this was going to happen.  It wasn’t the first time a guy has ever cheated on me.  I was so naïve.  All the signs were staring me straight in the face.  Sometimes I thought I should have just switched to girls, and then maybe I would have had better luck.  Just thinking about everything made my body ache.  I tried to push it out of my mind for the moment and let the warm water sooth my aching muscles.

            I cleaned myself up the best I could for the day to come.  I knew people would be calling to make sure I was okay.  I had a few messages from Lacey.  I felt bad not talking to her right away but I just needed time alone for a bit.  I listened to her messages and couldn’t help but feel bad about the worry in her voice.  I made a mental note to call her a little later to let her know I was okay and she didn’t need to worry. 

After hearing her messages the next voice made me want to hurl.  It was Ryan begging for my forgiveness.  He took up most of my voice mail box.  I almost wanted to cry but I just wound up laughing at how desperate he sounded.  The only one who didn’t call was JD.  He knew I needed to be alone and think for a while.  I would talk when I was ready.  We’ve been through this before and it was pretty much the same routine.

            The rest of the day I just moped around.  I tried to keep myself busy.  I wound up reorganizing my entire bedroom closet.  That was a project I had procrastinated about for months.  It was crazy that I actually got it done.  It only took me all day but it was worth it to distract me. 

            It was going on 6 o clock at night so I decided to call Lacey.  It barely rang once before I heard her voice.

“Sophie!”  She proclaimed a little too loudly for my taste at that moment.

“Lacey, please don’t yell. I have a massive headache.”  I confessed.

“Sorry, I was just worried and didn’t think you were going to call so I got excited when I saw your name on the caller id.”  She said calmly.

“It’s ok.  I just wanted some alone time ya know?”  I reassured her.

“Yea I figured that much.  Are you ok, Soph?”  Those were the questions I wanted to avoid but it was Lacey so I had to give her some sort of answer.

“I’m as okay as to be expected.  I don’t really want to talk about it right now.  I just wanted you to know I was still alive.”  I tried to make a little joke.  It went right over her head.

“Ok well you know I’m here for you when you’re ready.” She assured me.

“I know.  If you want, why don’t you come by tomorrow?”  I suggested.

“Sounds good.  Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything missy.  I love and I’ll see you tomorrow.”  She sounded optimistic.

“I know Lace.  Love you too.”  I said hanging up the phone.

            Tomorrow would be a better day to see her because she could be a bit overwhelming sometimes.  That was just Lacey.  She was very caring and wanted to protect everyone.  She knew she couldn’t all the time but she would always try. 

            My thoughts were thwarted when I heard my door bell ring.  I wondered who it could be.  I hoped it wasn’t my mom making a surprise visit.  She had a tendency to do that sometimes.  Any other time would have been fine for her to stop by but I didn’t want her to see me in the state I was in.  She doesn’t know what happened yet and I wasn’t ready to tell her.  I also knew that just seeing her would make me break down even more so it wasn’t like I could hide it.  I also hoped it wasn’t Ryan either.  His million messages sounded desperate enough but I hoped he wouldn’t dare come to my house.  I would just slam the door in his face anyway.

            I opened the door hesitantly to find JD with a bag of Chinese food.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  We didn’t even have to say a word to one another.  He put the bag down quickly and took me in his arms.  It felt good to be held after what had happened.  At that moment all I did was let everything go.  I couldn’t stop the sobs and tears from slipping out.  He held onto me for what seemed like forever.  He let go for just a second to shut the door.  With one quick swoop he picked me up in his arms and brought me straight to the couch.  He just held me until my sobbing started to subside. Then he lifted my gaze to his and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.  This was how it always was and always would be with me and JD.  Through whatever heartaches that came our way we were there for each other without a second thought.

            He pretty much held me all night.  We had our food and I poured my heart out to him about Ryan.  The whole time he kept his arm around me or held my hand.  It was the comfort I needed.  We talked all night.   He listened to me intently, let me cry on his shoulder, and was just there for me. 

            I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing.  As I was trying to get up I realized I was on the couch.  Something around my waist was weighing me down.  Then I heard JD’s light breathing beside me.  I barely remembered falling a sleep on the couch together.

“JD!”  I whispered loudly to try and wake him.

He didn’t move.  I felt bad waking him up so I tried to maneuver my way out of his arms.   That was a difficult task in itself.  My phone was ringing off the hook and not long after that someone was banging on my door.  How JD didn’t wake up from all the noise I will never know.  Every time I would almost get loose from his grip he would wind up grabbing me closer to him.  After another failed attempt I heard him stifle a giggle.  When I realized he was awake and just trying to be funny I did what any normal person would do in that situation.  I sighed with defeat.  As I relaxed in his arms he did the same and his grip loosened on me.  Just when he thought I had given up I used all the strength I had and pushed him right off of the couch.  I laughed to myself as I heard him land with quite a thud.  I got up and brushed myself off to head to the door.  I couldn’t help but giggle at hearing him groaning on the floor.

I answered the door laughing and Lacey stood there with raised eyebrows.

“You’re awfully chipper this morning.”  She stated the obvious.

“Just a little.”  I confessed.

As she walked in the door she looked at me completely confused. “How is it that last night you sounded completely out of whack yet now you have a smile on your face?”  She asked curiously.  I just shrugged my shoulders and head back to the living room.  She followed.

“Okay what did you do?  Or should I say who?”  She asked slyly.

“Lacey!  First of all shut up.  Secondly I’m still upset.  I’m just masking it with funny.”  I told her with a goofy smile.  It was true I was still upset but at the same time trying to be upbeat.

Lacey face grew serious and she gave me a big hug.  While we embraced she heard a noise.

“What was that?”  She asked curiously walking to where she thought she heard it. 

“Oh its probably just some rat I threw off the couch.”  I joked.

Lacey turned to me.  “You’re joking right?” She asked wide eyed.

“Well, see for yourself.”  I motioned her to the couch.

She moved slowly to the couch.  When she peaked over it she started laughing hysterically.  She found JD sprawled out on the floor in the front of the couch with a painful look on his face.

“OMG! That is classic.  What happened JD?  Did she beat you up?”  She asked amused.

“She pushed me off the couch.”  He groaned. “I think I broke my spleen.”

I just stood there watching there playful exchange.

“Aww….stop being a baby and get up.”  Lacey said bluntly.  “What did you do to piss her off?”

“I didn’t do anything.  It was all innocent.”  He defended.

“Sure.” She said.

            As they playfully argued I just laughed to myself.  They definitely knew how to make me feel better.  As much as I was still heartbroken they always had a way of lightening the blow.  There was no doubt that they were going to try everything in there power to make me laugh.  As they always say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” 

            All three of us spent the day together.  We watched movies, joked around, and even talked about random things. All and all it was a nice day.  In the afternoon around 2, Lacey and I had sent JD off to get us some lunch.  While he was gone we talked a little bit more seriously about my situation.

“You’re better off without him.”  She said.

“I know.  It just bugs me that I keep attracting the wrong kind of guys.  Is there something wrong with me?”  I asked seriously.

“Of course not, honey.  One day the right guy is going to come along and he’s going to treat you like no one before.  He’s going to make you feel like the most important thing in the world.  The best part is that he’s not going to break your heart.  Trust me on this one.”  She winked at me.  I raised my eyebrow at the gesture.

“You say that like he’s already here or something.”  I laughed.

She was about to say something back but the door bell interrupted her.

“I’ll get it.” She offered.

I don’t understand why everyone had to come to my place all the time.  I was really sick of hearing that bell.  I needed to get out more.  It was either that or just removing my door bell.  It was probably JD with the food but I gave him a key so there shouldn’t have been a problem.  He just liked to annoy me.  I laughed to myself.

            I turned on the couch to see what was taking Lacey so long.  It couldn’t have been JD then.  I was curious who it was.  She opened the door but I couldn’t see who was there.  For some reason as much as I wanted to know I didn’t want to move from the couch.  I tried listening. 

“What are you doing here?” Lacey asked a bit irritated.

That definitely wasn’t JD.   Lacey sounded mad so that only leaves one person.

“I need to talk to her.  I made a big mistake.”  Ryan pleaded.

Ugh.  Was all I could think of.  I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up here after what he did.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here after what you did to her.”  Lacey shouted.

Apparently she could read my mind as always.

“Look Lacey, can I just talk to her please?”  He pleaded even more.

“No!” She yelled. “Get out, Ryan!”

“No, get out of my way!” He screamed.

            It startled me to hear him get loud all of a sudden.  It scared me.  That’s when I finally unglued myself from my position.  I saw him push past Lacey and she practically almost fell.  I was about to throw down.

“What the hell are you doing?”  I yelled as he walked up to me. “Don’t you ever put your hands on my friend again!” I yelled even louder.

“Look, Sophie, we need to talk.”  He said calmly.

“Screw you man!  Get the hell out!” Lacey yelled behind him.

“Stay out of this!” He turned and yelled back.  Then he started toward me again.

“Baby, please, we could work this out.  I didn’t mean it.  It just happened.  She came on to me I swear.”  He grabbed my shoulders pleading with me. “Please just talk to me.”

“No!” I yelled trying to loosen from his grip.  “Let me go and get the hell out!  I don’t want to see you and I don’t want to know you!  Stay out of my life!”  I yelled in his face.

Through all the hype I felt everything around me start to crumble.  I felt weak and dizzy.  He still held on to me.  I just wanted him to let me go but I was losing the fight.  I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Let me go.”  I spat out weakly.

“Why won’t you just talk to me?”  He pleaded shaking me. 

I looked him as straight in the eyes as I could. “Because you’re a lying, cheating, scum bag and I want nothing to do with you.”  I gritted angrily through my teeth in my weakened state.

The hole time Lacey was trying to get him away from me and to let me go.

“Let her go!” She yelled.

He turned around and yelled, “Stay out of this!”

“Ryan let me go.”  I practically whispered.  I felt myself getting weaker and weaker every second.

He still pleaded with me. “You’re not listening to me. We could work this out. I love you.”  He said with hurt in his eyes.

That was the final straw.  I pushed him off of me with all the strength I had.  I almost fell backwards at the motion.

“You’re a liar.  Just get out!” I yelled with tears streaming down my face.  As I walked backwards away from him I felt my knees buckle.  My vision was blurred and I felt myself tumble to the floor.  Before I reached my unconscious state I heard Lacey’s voice along with someone else’s that I couldn’t recognize.  I didn’t know what they were saying all I knew was after that everything went dark.

            After what seemed like a few minutes I slowly opened my blurry eyes and squinted at the light above me.  I looked around slowly to see I was on my couch in my living room.  I laid there for a few minutes trying to concentrate on what had just happened.  I remembered Ryan came by like the idiot he was to try to talk to me.  I can’t believe he had the gall to come to my place.  I didn’t even want to think about it and get upset or I might pass out again.

            I slowly sat up a little on my couch.  I heard some commotion by the door and saw a slight glimpse of flashing lights.  I hoped it wasn’t an ambulance cause I dint want to go to a hospital.  I was fine and I hated hospitals.  It wasn’t necessary.  Through my thoughts I saw Lacey in the corner of my eye.  As soon as she saw I was up she ran right over to my side.  She looked really upset almost like she was going to cry.  I never saw her like that before.  She sat right beside and grabbed my hands.

“Oh my goodness, Sophie are you ok?”  she asked worried.

I sat up a little more.

“I think so.”  I answered.

“That stupid ass wipe came over here.  I wanted to kick his ass.  I thought he was going to hurt you with the death grip he had on you.  Then you just pushed away from him and passed out.  I was so worried.”  She explained as she hugged me. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”  I asked.

“I should have punched him in the face or something.  Although he actually looked like somebody already did when I saw his face.  He had quite the shiner.”  She said.

I couldn’t help but laugh at that fact.  Unfortunately through all the commotion when he was there I was so mad I didn’t notice.

“Why are you laughing?” Lacey asked curiously.

“That was me.”  I confessed.

“No way!  Oh man I missed it?  When did that happen?”  She asked shocked and also pleased.

“Well after JD told me what Ryan did, I went to club to see if he was there.  Sure enough there he was with some bimbo.  So I went up to him and punched him.  It was very therapeutic.”  I explained.

“That’s my girl!”  She hugged me again. 

“What’s going on outside?”  I asked changing the subject.

“Oh its just the cops but you don’t need to worry about that.”  She assured me.

“What did I miss?”  I asked raising an eyebrow.

She hesitated to tell me but she knew I would find out sooner or later.

          " Well, you see,” she started, “JD showed up right when you were passing out…”

“What?”  I interrupted.  “JD?  Where is he?  Is he ok?  What happened?”  I said with a bit of panic.

“Calm down girl.  He’s fine.  He’s just with the police giving them a statement.”  She reassured me with a smile.

“Oh.  So why is he with the cops?”  I asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well, there was a little scuffle.”  She said.

“Scuffle? What kind of scuffle?”  I asked.

“Well JD and Ryan had a bit of a fight.  It didn’t go too far though cause the cops showed in time.  JD just roughed him up a bit.”  She smiled at me.

“Oh.”  That’s the only thing that came out of my mouth.  JD got into a fight because of me.  I didn’t know how to take that.  A part of me was grateful and a part of me was worried.

“Ms. Cambell?”  I heard an officer question. “We’re going to need your statement now if you’ll come outside with me please.”  He said motioning to the door.

“Be right there.”  Lacey told him.  “You going to be ok Sophie?”  She asked me.

“Yea.” I smiled at her.

She started to get up but before she did she paused and looked at me.

“You know, aside from the drama and psycho boy, I have to say…..JD looked uberly sexilicious fighting that idiot off.  I’m sorry that you missed that.  Also, if I wasn’t dating your best friend’s best friend at the moment, that hot tamale of a cop would definitely be on my list.”  She gave me a quick kiss on the head and ran off to greet her “hot tamale.”

            With everything that happened, that comment definitely made me laugh.  I’m sure that’s what it was intended for too.  It also made me wonder if JD did look good in that fight.  Then again I don’t think I would have wanted to see it because I would probably worry too much about him.  If I was conscious for it I probably would have stepped right in the middle of it. 

            Just then I heard some people talking by the door.  I looked over the couch curiously.  It was JD and one of the officers.  I heard a couple thank yous and they shook hands.  Then JD turned and we locked eyes.  He practically sprinted over to me and took me right into his arms. 

“Sophie, you scared the living daylights out of me.  Are you ok?  Did he hurt you?”  He asked looking all over me and touching around as delicate as possible.

“I’m fine.  Just a little shaken up is all.”  I reassured him.

He brushed the hair out of my face and just continued holding me in his arms. 

“I was really worried.  I walked in before and all I saw was you passed out on the floor and him standing there.  I lost it.  If the cops didn’t come I don’t know what I would have done to that prick.”  He confessed.

It scared me to hear him talk like that.  It made me want to cry.  All I could do was just hold onto him tighter.

“Everything’s fine JD.  I promise.”  I hoped my words would calm his nerves a bit.  I just wanted to day to be over. 

Chapter 10

            It had been a few weeks since the incident.  I pretty much just went to work and stayed home for the most part.  JD and Lacey made house visits every once in a while.  I wasn’t doing horribly, but I wasn’t doing too well either.  There were a few sleepless nights and a few emotional melt downs.  As time went by I healed more and more very slowly.  I wasn’t completely myself but I still tried to get back to my old routines. 

            The weekend was coming and Lacey insisted we all go out and party.  She said that I needed to let loose and forget about what’s his name.  I wasn’t too happy about being forced to go out but I wasn’t going to argue.  Besides she was right.  I needed to get out.  

            We decide to hit the club Saturday night.  It was me, Lacey, JD and Jessie.  It was good to see Lacey and Jessie doing so well together.  As far as I knew they were taking it slow and that was a good thing for Lacey.  She used to really rushing into things with guys.  This time was different for her and I could tell. 

“Jessie!”  She yelled excitedly running into his arms.  Lacey and I met the guys outside the club.  I laughed when she jumped into his arms and they almost fell over.  It was so cute it made me want to puke.

JD walked up to me while they had there little sappy reunion.

“You would think that they hadn’t seen each other in months.  They just saw each other yesterday.”  He stated has he hugged me hello.

“I know, right?  I don’t know whether to smile at the sight of affection or puke right here.”  I laughed.  JD laughed along with me as we all made our way into the club.

When we got to bar Lacey put her arm around my shoulder.

“Now listen girl.  You are going to have a good time tonight.”  She started, shouting over the music, “This means you better get plastered.  You’re not driving so you’re good. Now I don’t recommend this on a daily basis but you need to let loose once in a while so do it.  Whatever I give you just drink it no questions asked.  Got it?” She was being the forceful Lacey we all know and love.

I hesitated but again she was right.  I was planning on having a good night.

“Fine.”  I said.

“Yay!”  She exclaimed.

“You know you don’t have to do what you don’t want to do.”  JD said sternly behind me.

“I know, Dad.”  I responded sarcastically.  He gave me a look and we both just laughed it off.

            I was having fun.  I was drinking and dancing and having a great time with my friends.  Nothing was going get me down.  I don’t think I had as many drinks as I did that night ever in my life.  I was definitely letting loose though.  Also, I forgot about all my problems especially a certain guy I won’t mention.  I had a good night.

            When I woke up the next morning I felt like I had been hit by a bus.  Hangovers are never fun.  I opened my eyes slowly and right away shielded them from the piercing sunlight coming through my bedroom window.  I wondered how I got home.  The last thing I remembered was I just wanted to forget everything that happened.  I kept taking shot after shot of an alcoholic beverage I didn’t know the name of.  I couldn’t imagine the events that happened after that.  Everything was blank in my mind.

            I heard someone enter my room.  My body immediately stiffened.  Please tell me I did not just bring home a complete stranger and do things with him in my drunken state that I would regret.

“Wake up sleepy head.” The man said.  Wait a minute, I knew that voice.

I sighed with relief, “JD?”

“Yea.” He replied, “Time to get up, take some aspirin, and face the day missy.”

He had to be kidding me.  I didn’t want to move at all.  I wanted to stay in bed for the next two days and wallow in my own self pity.

“Come on tiger, you had a pretty rough night last night.  You should take a bath or something.  It’ll make you feel better.”  JD whispered in my ear.

I wondered what he meant by “rough night.”  All I thought was holy crap.  What if me and him….crap.  No way, that couldn’t have happened.  We’re just friends and he would never take advantage of me like that especially when I was drunk.  Besides why would he even think of me that way?  I’m not his type.  Look at me jumping to conclusions.  Still, I needed to know what happened, so I asked. 

“What happened last night?” I looked at JD through half open eyes. 

He gave me a look I couldn’t read.  That made me nervous.

I listened intently when he started to explain, “Well, you got really drunk, I took you home, and you passed out.  That’s basically it.  I stayed to make sure you were ok in the morning.”

I sighed with relief, “I don’t remember anything.” I said disappointed.  How could I let myself go that far?  I’ve never done that before.  That’s not like me.  I swore to myself to never drink like that again.  I hate not remembering things.

“Hey.” JD patted one of my hands, “Don’t worry, no harm no foul.”

He must have seen the horrific look on my face as I scolded myself in my thoughts.

I looked at him sincerely, “Thanks, JD.”  I smiled. “You know, for taking care of me like that.”

He laughed a little and responded, “Like I said before don’t worry about it.  That’s what friends are for.  I’d do anything for you and you know that.  Bedsides I’ve seen people worse off than you were last night, trust me.  It’s no biggie.”

            He helped me out of bed to head to the bathroom to clean myself up.  He had always been so good to me.  I was grateful everyday for his presence.  Good thing he was there that night or I wouldn’t know what could have happened to me.  I thank my lucky stars everyday for such a wonderful man in my life.  He was the only man I could trust to tell me the truth and be there for me when I needed him. 

            He left me in the bathroom to fend for myself.  At that point I wished he could help me but being naked in front of him calls for awkward moments later.  I slowly but surely got cleaned up and felt a bit better. The only thing that bothered me the most was my still present headache. 

I went through the rest of the day pretty lost to the world around me.  JD and I went to the mall for a few hours.  When he dropped me home I pretty much passed out and woke up the next morning for work refreshed.          

Work was pretty busy.  The moment I walked into the door Lacey let me know that I had five different clients to shoot that day.  It was going to be a long day.  

My whole work day I still wondered what had happened Saturday night.  JD was very vague about it when he told me.  That didn’t help.  My curiosity was getting the best of me. I figured something else went down that night but JD was just trying to spare my feelings.  I probably did something really embarrassing.  I guess it was better that I didn’t know.  

Later Lacey and I took our lunch break while we were waiting for our third client to arrive.

“So,” Lacey started with a devious look in her eyes, “How was the other night?”

I gave her a dumbfounded look. 

“Tell me you don’t remember.” She said knowingly.

I just smiled at her innocently.

“Aww man,” she spoke again, “I thought for sure something interesting was going to happen.  You were pretty trashed but still I had hoped for all the juicy details of the night.”

I looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?” I asked curiously. 

She had an evil grin on her face. “Well, you and JD were with each other all night.  Plus you left together so I just hoped, ya know, in your drunken stupor you would realize he is completely infatuated with you.  And as much as you may deny it, you are too.”  She spoke confidently.

            All of a sudden I felt a jolt of realization run through my entire body.  I couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel anything.  I couldn’t breath.  All my thoughts burst in my head like strings of confetti.  At that moment I captured every single minute of that night in my mind.  It all came hurling back at me.

Flashback

“I’m ready for another Carl!”  I yelled across the bar.  Yes I knew the bartender by name and he was going to get a massive tip for helping me get wasted.

“Um, Soph, I think you had enough.”  JD tried to convince me.  He was way too worried.  I was fine.  I felt more than fine.  I felt real good.

            I turned to look at him.  Even when I was drunk I thought he was beautiful.  I could never admit to myself that I was completely captivated with my best friend, until now.  Of course I only admitted to it because I was drunk at the moment.  I couldn’t help but smile as I looked into his eyes.

            He looked at me like I was crazy.  My smiled faded and I turned away.

“Where’s Carl?  I need another one.”  I said completely ignoring JD’s pleas to slow down.

“You sure you want another?  You seem like you had enough, darling.”  Carl stated as he made his way down to the bar to me.  I gave him an evil look.

“You know people, I’m a big girl!  I know how to take care of myself!” I complained with a slight slur as I took my last shot.

            I went to get off the bar stool I was sitting on and almost fell flat on my face.  JD caught me before I could hit the ground.  It felt nice having his strong, warm arms wrapped around me.

I looked up at him. “Ok, I’ve had enough.”

He stifled a giggle and said, “OK, let’s get you home.”

            I stumbled all the way to the car with JD by my side every step of the way.  The car ride was silent.  I didn’t even hear any music playing.  Usually that’s the first thing JD puts on when he gets in the car.  Then again I was pretty out of it so maybe I just couldn’t hear it.  The ride was shorter than expected.  It was a good thing because I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out at any moment.  My two options were either that or throwing up. 

            Before I knew it JD was helping me out of the car and into my house.  I give him a lot of credit for putting up with my drunk ass.

            When we were inside I had the sudden urge for food.  While JD locked the door I skipped very unsteadily to my cabinet to grab a bag of pretzels.  I went to my counter with the bag and tried to lift myself to sit on it.  I was very unsuccessful in that task.

“Why don’t you sit in a chair?”  JD suggested as he walked toward me.

“Cause I want to sit on the counter.”  I whined like a little girl. 

            He laughed and helped me up onto the counter as I was struggling.  He got me on up  with hardly any effort at all.  I was amazed.  I started to giggle as I ate my pretzels. 

“You good now?”  He asked.

“O yea!”  I said a little louder than anticipated.

            So while I sat there eating JD stood on the side of me leaning on the counter to make sure I didn’t fall.  I turned to look at him and caught the gaze of his blue eyes.  After a moment I decide to stick my foot in my mouth.

“Why are you so beautiful?”  I blurted.  I couldn’t believe that came out of my mouth.  I silently scolded myself.

“What do you mean?” He laughed.

My face must have looked pretty serious at that moment because his smile quickly faded and he looked serious too. 

Before I could stop myself I just kept talking. “Its just you are amazing.  You’re sweet, smart, funny, successful and really good looking.  All these years I’ve never understood why you hung out with a girl like me.” I confessed.  I just stared at the floor not meeting his direct gaze. 

“What do you mean a girl like you?”  He asked curiously.

“Well, ya know.”  I hesitated.

“No, I don’t.  Enlighten me please.”  He urged me on.  I didn’t know what kind of look he was giving me.  I just couldn’t look at his face.  I didn’t want to even see his reaction to all this.

            At that moment I had wished I would have passed out on the kitchen floor.  Since it got all serious I was slightly sobered up but not sober enough for this.  I knew somehow I was about to reveal too much.  I couldn’t stop myself from speaking.

“Well, I’m not exactly the best looking girl.  Plus I know I could be a pain sometimes.  Wouldn’t you rather hang out with prettier people?”  That probably wasn’t the best choice of word but that’s all I had. “I mean you should be hanging out with woman who are as beautiful and successful as you are.  Guys like you would never go with girls like me, I mean hang out with girls like me.  All they would do is use me for their own sick amusement and then throw me away like a piece of garbage because they found something better or smuttier.  I don’t know.  I don’t know what I’m saying.  Please just ignore me and forget it.”  I rambled.

            I attempted to make my way off the counter but JD stopped me.  He was now standing in front of me leaning on the counter with his arms on each side of me.  I was a goner as far as I knew.  His face was nearly inches from mine so I was forced to look him in the eyes.  It felt like they were burning right through me.  I could feel his breath on my lips.  I didn’t know what he was doing.

“There’s something I need to tell you and you need to listen.”  He stated in a stern voice.

I didn’t say anything. I just waited not knowing what to do with myself.

“You need to stop doing that.  Stop making yourself seem less than you are.  You are the most amazing girl I have ever known.  You are an even more amazing woman.  You are sweet, smart, funny, and successful.  You are also incredibly beautiful.  Not only are you beautiful on the outside but you are on the inside as well.  That my dear, is what we call the whole package.  Stop thinking you’re not.  You’re everything a man could ever want in a woman and much more.  Any guy would be a complete idiot to let you slip through their fingers….”  He swallowed hard. “I would give anything to be with a girl like you.” He practically whispered that last part.

            I could barely feel the tears streaming down my face but I knew they were there.  He put his hand on my face and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

“Please don’t cry.” He begged.

“I can’t help it.”  I whispered in a barely audible tone. “No one has ever in my entire life said anything to me like that before.”

“Well, it’s true.”  He whispered with a slight grin still holding my face gently between his warm hands.

            I touched my forehead to his.  Actually it was more like bumping my head to his.  I put the slight pain aside only to do something even worse.

            I’ve never been good at making last minute decisions.  I’m more of a plan-ahead kind of girl.  I don’t know if it was the alcohol still getting the best of me or just my emotions overloading but something was bound to happen.

            Without thinking any further and before I could hear any protests from either side, I moved in.  I quickly closed the small distance between me and JD’s lips.  His lips were so warm and soft against mine.  I felt like I was in heaven.  I always thought kissing my best friend would be wrong but it felt so incredibly right.  Our lips started moving deeper into each other.  He was kissing me back.  Why?  Did he feel the same way I did?  Did he just want to get some action?  No he was definitely not the type especially after what he said to me.  Maybe he wasn’t kissing me back and I was just thinking too much of it.  It sure felt like he was though. 

            As our lips moved at a more yearning pace, our bodies were pressed up against each other.  His arms were firmly around my waste and my hands gripped at the back of his neck.  Just as I was about to wrap my legs around his waste he pulled back abruptly and I lost my grip.  I almost fell off the counter and of course he caught me before I did.

“I….I’m sorry. This…this is wrong.  You’re drunk.”  He said breathlessly.

I also struggled to catch my breath.  Then as I took another breath I felt my stomach turn. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”  I blurted holding my mouth closed. 

Without hesitation JD helped me to the bathroom quickly.  As soon as I reached the toilet it was over.  When my stomach felt like it was completely empty, he helped me to my bed and tucked me in.  I passed out in a matter of minutes and was not looking forward to the morning to come.

End Flashback

            I don’t know how long I was sitting staring into oblivion but once I was done with my thoughts I saw a hand wave in front of my face.

“Hello, earth to Sophie.  Come on Soph, you still in there?”  Lacey tooted. 

“Huh?”  That’s all that came out of my mouth.

“Damn, finally.  I thought your brain imploded or something.  You ok?”  She asked.

“Oh, I…I’m….I’m fine.”  I stuttered.  With that I stood up quickly and looked around aimlessly.

“You sure you okay?”  Lacey asked awkwardly.

I looked at her. “Yeah….I think so.”  I answered completely unsure.  

“Well, I hope so.”  She said looking behind me, “Because the next client is that annoying model that you love so much.”

I looked in her direction and was instantly annoyed. “Great.”  I stated sarcastically.

“If it’s any consolation, this is the last time you’ll have to work with her.”  Lacey informed me hoping to lift my spirits a bit.

            I secretly screamed thank goodness in my head.  Even so, this was still the last thing I needed.  I just realized my best friend and I made out hard core the other night and he didn’t have the guts to tell me the truth about it.  I was so angry and confused all at the same time.  On top of that I had to deal with this chick again.  I could feel another headache coming on but it would be much worse than the other morning.  This was going to be interesting to say the least.

            An hour later I was at my boiling point.  This woman was crazy.  The fact that I was mad before only added more fuel to the fire.  I had enough with this woman and I was going to give her a piece of my mind.

            As she was yelling at some pour intern that barely knew what was going on, I walked right up to her and stared at her hard.

“What?” She asked cockily.

I turned to the intern and said, “Why don’t you go take a break honey and I’ll take care of this.”  She didn’t hesitate to flee the scene.  I turned back to the woman and I was about to rip her a new one.

“Look Lady!”  I didn’t think it was necessary to remember her name.  “I’m sick and tired of you coming in here month after month and bossing everyone around like they’re your peasants.  They are human beings and deserve to be treated as such.  You have no right to be a bitch right now.  If it wasn’t for everyone around you, there would be no work for you at all.  You’re lucky you have a pretty face because on the inside you’re ugly.  No one is ever going to truly like you if you don’t take your head out of your ass.  Now if you don’t change your damn attitude and treat everyone of these people with the respect they deserve, then this photo shoot is over because I ain’t putting up with your bullshit anymore! Got it?!”  I shouted.

The whole room was completely silent.  They must have thought I was crazy but I didn’t care.  The model was wide eyed.  I just stared at her for an answer.

“Um...ok.” She said quietly.

I turned around to see everyone’s shocked faces.

“Alright, nothing to see here.  Let’s get back to work.”  I announced.

            I was done with that model in a matter of minutes.  It goes a lot faster when no one’s complaining.  When she left, people practically applauded me for putting her in her place.  It felt good but at the same time I had other things on my mind.  Once work was over I had another pain in the ass to face. I was revving up for that fight for after work.